Read “The psychology of fantasies – Part 1” HERE, “The psychology of fantasies – Part 2” HERE, “The psychology of fantasies – Part 3” HERE and and “The psychology of fantasies – Part 4” HERE.

There are only a few minor issues to be clarified, which we did not discuss in the first four parts on this topic.  One of these aspects is about the persistence of some fantasies, but also about helping your partner to understand your needs, but also its role in your fantasies.

It’s magnificent to tend to go back to a particular fantasy. It is natural to resort again and again to a favourite mental image. But when these secret fantasies are so worn out that they barely excite you, don’t you agree that it would be time for something newer and spicier? But how would you like your partner to guess what your fantasies are without having the expertise of a hot escort from Birmingham or another city?

Highly organised people tend to paint their fantasies down to the smallest detail. But if your partner is stressed, it eliminates your desire to fulfil your fantasy. If, in general, the idea of fulfilling your dreams causes her a dose of anxiety, then a problem arises. Better helps her understand that a detachment from the person she is, in reality, can be a perfect way to escape from everyday life. Explain that fulfilling your wish can be a way to satisfy her as well.

So be very clear about the role of the partner in your fantasy. Telling your partner that you want something else has the potential to create a lot of anxiety, feelings of insecurity, jealousy. Better specify to your partner that she is part of your fantasy and how she is part of it. Try to empathise with specific emotional reactions and validate your partner when you share the fantasy, especially if the loved one does not trust his strength.

As you become more and more vulnerable in front of your partner and reveal yourself more and more, a feeling of mutual trust is created. You will both have access to the other’s inner world. It is possible to find out that your partner does not have the same fantasies as yours. It is not scary; on the contrary, it is a natural thing, because as I said before, our fantasies express deep psychological needs. So it is possible at this time of your married life, the requirements to be different. However, we know that as we age or progress in our relationship, our needs change. So it is not excluded that at some point, your fantasies will harmonise.

And last but not least, think about how you will react to what your partner will tell you about their fantasies. Your common goal is to communicate your desires in a way that involves respect, care, understanding, and acceptance of the other’s inner world. The most effective communication is when there is much security in the couple, trust and connection between the two partners. And if you don’t want to risk it, you can experience all this and train yourself by booking escorts in Birmingham or another city. This way, you don’t risk anything, you won’t shock your partner, and you will be prepared to communicate correctly when the time is right for your desires.