Couple discussions are never easy. It isn’t easy to talk to our partners about our hidden world, about our fantasies. As I said in the past parts of this material, we have a long history in which our fantasies have been considered taboo and shameful topics. The culture of punishment, including criticism, reproach and contempt, has long been promoted and has reached the rank of art. There is too little emphasis on the way we communicate in school, not to mention about fantasies. It is easier to talk about our desires with a stranger, such as one of the escorts in Birmingham or another city than with our partner. We think that we will be judged or that others will reject us if we express the content of our fantasies.
Opening our thinking is extremely important because, in this way, we facilitate discussions about fantasies, and we can act on our desires that are mutually agreed upon. Each of us has fantasies; only social and cultural barriers prevent us from talking openly. And let’s not forget that our fantasies are the expression of much more profound psychological needs. Depending on the type of fantasy, specialists can help the Birmingham individual to identify their psychological needs. The way we communicate our desires and the moment we want to approach this topic is essential. Those people who have never verbalised the content of the fantasies are those who anticipated a negative response. This anticipation was shaped by the belief that they think harmful activities violate the cultural rules.
What would be done, though? To facilitate this dialogue with the loved one, first of all, take into account the moment and the way you want to reveal your wishes, but also the reasons why you want your fantasy to be heard. Maybe it would be advisable to make an appointment for a dialogue with your partner. Yes, you heard right: about an appointment. Simpl, you express your desire for a conversation on this topic and ask when is an excellent time to discuss it. Keep in mind that the information may be too much, and the partner may not be ready emotionally like a professional escort. As a result, better to dose the amount of information shared. It starts slowly, and as trust builds between you, you can begin to reveal yourself more as a prelude. If your partner is new to such practices that involve fulfilling your wishes, you may want to start with a low emotional level before moving on to maximum intensity.
Also, consider where you make the disclosure. Studies show that the partner’s receptivity increases when the disclosure takes place in a favourable background, where there are no other distracting factors. For example, the conversation’s beginning can occur after watching a love movie together because we are much better prepared to reveal ourselves when we are already thinking about fantasies. Tell your partner why you want to make this revelation. Do you show your desires because you want to know more about each other or because you want the fantasy to be translated into reality? Believe me; you don’t want these questions to go unanswered, leaving the other in a state of uncertainty because you’re talking to your female partner, you’re not talking to an escort in Birmingham or another city. The reasons for the disclosure are significant.
Read “The psychology of fantasies – Part 5” HERE.